A Serious Man (2009)

My Relationship with Coen brothers film have been a wild. Easily a love hate relationship, no inbetween. I loved Big Lebowski, Fargo and O' Brother but absolutely hated No Country, Burn After Reading and Ladykillers. I think this is the first of their that fall Inbetween didn't hate it but didn't love it. And thats the easiest way to describe the film.

Quite frankly NOTHING happens in this film. It is simply just someone's life. It could be anyone so the acting is nothing special since the reactions are generic.


It's just about a Physics teacher who deals with some hardships in life. He bores his students and deals with a failing South Korean who bribes and threatens him. Has to put up with his incompetant brother and his giant neck boil, his wife seeing another man and wanting a divorce. Additionally dealing with 2 annoying and uncaring kids with one nearly becoming a man at his Bar Mitzvah.

And one thing that really pisses me off with Coen brother films is the endings. The majority of their film build up to a big climax and then just ends with out any resolution. I think this was the worst ending of the bunch that I've seen of theirs.


A Serious Man was a Seriously boring film and nothing happens. Save yourself the time and skip this

A Serious Man recieves 4 "Bowling Balls"...out of 10

When You're Strange (2010)

A documentary about my favorite band of all time, this is the film I've been waiting for. This is the anti-Oliver Stone film, which I loved, but this is the real deal. Restored footage of the American-Born equivilent of The Rolling Stones. I give you The Doors, as narrated by Johnny Depp.

When You're Strange chronicles the tumultuous times of America's most influential band, The Doors and their iconic frontman, Jim Morrison. It details through footage shot by the band, their rise from jamming in a small apartment to playing the big venues like MSG.

One thing I really liked about this was that it did give some focus Krieger, Densmore, and Manserak but as any fan knows Morrison was the one the people came to see. The doc portrays Morrison from his time as a UCLA Film School Dropout to becoming the Epitome of the Rock 'n' Roll frontman and his descent into the world of drugs, recovery and back.

For me it is sad because they are my favorite band and I'll never get the chance to see them live. But at least music live on forever and Morrison depp poetry-like lyrics will always be playing on my speakers.

I would recommed this for any fan of REAL talented music but the DVD doesn't come out till late June. I wanted to see this in theaters but they were only playing it in NYC, and with train tickets these days that deterred me. But luckily PBS decided to play it and I got to see real, raw footage of the Greatest band in American History. R.I.P. JM

Brothers (2009)

It's not often that I may say this about a particularily bad film but if it had been a little bit longer it would have been better. It felt very rushed and before I knew it, the film was at its climax. Which they basically show in trailers.

This film has a few major flaws and leaves me wondering if there are any ORIGINAL ideas left in Hollywood. This was basically a feature length film of the romance aspect of 2001's Pearl Harbor. Being that one guy (Tobey Maguire - Sam) goes off to war, is pronounced dead. Then a friend, or brother in this case (Jake Gyllenhaal - Tommy), begins a relationship with the fallen mans wife or girlfriend (Natalie Portman - Grace). But it turns out he is not dead and it ruins everyone's relationships. except in this film Tommy and Sam's wife do not hook up, it's all in Sam head.

The other subject the film borrows from is Homer's Odyssey. Sam's heli goes down in Afghanistan and is captured by terrorists. The only thing that keeps him going it the hope to one day see his wife again. I love anything to do with ancient greece but i'm getting tired of movies borrowing the subject and I'm still wating for a big-budget production of the actual Odyssey. So if I want to if people apparently want to see the Odyssey...why not make the actual movie. There has only been one acceptable substitute in Oh Brother Where Art Thou.

There is no point in giving a real summary because weve seen it all before. The acting on the other hand was very sub par for these "established" actors. Nothing was believable their grief their anger it just felt they were...just acting, not getting into the role. Portman's role gets a pass because if she didn't seem sincere in her grief it's because her character did not feel like Sam was dead. I am no fan of Tobey Maguire and this did not help my opinion of him. I still have hope for Gyllenhaal though. I hoping he can give a good name to video game - movie conversions.

Brothers recieves 5.5 "Frank the Rabbits"...out of 10

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009)

Heath Ledger's final film, a subject that has overshadowed his final 2 films (this and Dark Knight), but for good reason...the man was good at what he did. Even if Ledger had not died I would have been excited for this film because it is written and Directed by one of my favorites, Terry Gilliam, of Monty Python fame who also directed (Time Bandits and The Adventures of Baron Munchausen), so im already a fan of his work. So when Ledger died I was saddened for 2 reasons, he was gone and this movie was in danger of being scrapped. But Terry Gilliam was able to save the film and re-worked some of the script in order to replace Ledger.

The title comes from the traveling troop that the film centers around. The Imaginarium is actually a portal into the head of Dr. Parnassus (Similar to the film Being John Malcovich). At the beginning a young drunk man wonders beyond the mirror and into the imaginarium, where he face plants and his appearence changes. I believe signifying that "bad" people change in there. This is how they justify the use of Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Ferral, every time Tony (Ledger) enters the imaginarium his appearence changes into one of those 3. It is rather sad the Ledger first scene in the film is him hanging by the neck off a bridge...

The majority of the film center around to relationships. Dr. Parnassus vs. Mr. Nick, who represents The Devil. And the relationship between Tony and Valentina (The Dr.'s daughter). Parnassus is well over 1000 years old after making a deal of immortality with Mr. Nick. But for years he has been trying to win back his soul, through a series of bets about who can collect the most souls. Finally with Tony and his charm and charisma Parnassus finally has a chance to win.

The film can be a bit confusing so you need to pay a great deal of attention. The acting was fine, I kinda wish Ledger had done some more comedic roles because the lines in his last 2 films have been great. Christopher Plummer (Parnassus), Verne Troyer (Percy) amd Tom Waits (Mr. Nick) all have great chemistry together together. Altough Waits' voice can be difficult to understand at times. My only demerit towards it is I think they should have just used Johnny Depp to replace Ledger, He actually kinda looks like him and hes a helluva better actor then the other two.

This is a movie the I would say go out and rent especially if your a Monty fan like I am.
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus recieves 7 "We miss you Heath Ledger's"...out of 10

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Let's start with one simple word: Overrated.

There was a lot of hype surrounding this film but I was kinda let down. I always love a good detective story. I never actually read any of the Doyle stories but, as Im sure many people do, I know enough about the characters. But I love dectective novels and Holmes is the greatest Literary detective in history. But as for this version of the film it just does catch the awe that the books might hold.

The big disappointment for me was suprisingly RDJ, with his monotonous voice and 10 mile stare. I think they were trying to make him appear to be a thinking man but it just comes off as awkward. I thought Jude Law was goin to the Achilles Heal of the film but he actually make for a pretty good supporting character in Watson. Rachael McAdams was lovely as usual as Irene Adler. The thing the makers got best was definatly the scenery. The really captured the essence of Late 19th Century London.

I do not know If the plot parrallels any of Doyle's stories until the ending when they become aware of Holmes' archenemy. No to much hapenns in the film though, They thwart the plans of a Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong) who is then hanged. He rises from the grave then the rest of the movie deal with them trying to recapture him. And as with most detectives, the whole revelation of the entire plot at the end, it just wasnt satisfying. I could care less how Blackwood got away with it and the real was nothing more than cheap parlor tricks.

I have to say that I was dissappointed in this film. There have been talks of a sequel, this already sounds like a good idea because it could have been a lot better and at least the sequel would have a worthy villain.

Sherlock Holmes recieves 5 "Dudes playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!"..out of 10

2012 (2009)

There is just far to much wrong with this shit-fest of a film. For a few main reasons...

This films only purpose was to capitalize on the 2012 theories craze that the world wants to buy into. I have a strong dislike for anything just just tries to capitolize on a fad that isnt Pokemon or Spongebob. Except for True Blood because that is one of the best shows on TV.

Then the 2nd big issue is it is way way way way way too longgggg. This film clocks in at about 160 minutes (2:40 hrs). For the subject its way beyond what it needs to be. If I want to watch nearly 3 hours of end of the world theories Ill watch the History Channel, itll be more entertaing and itll use actual facts. With it length and constant use of meaningless scenes I was often left confused and had now idea what was happening. And even weirder, despite how dragging it may be..it feels rushed, I do not know what to make of this.

The acting was subpar except for Oliver Platt who pulled off the idea of the typical American Politican pretty good, and I am not a fan of his work. By the main man John Cusak, another person I am not a fan of (true I havnt seen what many deem his best work...in due time). Overall It just didnt feel like the emotion was there considering the world was about to end. A rare bright spot was Woody Harrelson's cameo as the woodsman/radio personality/end of the world theorist who lives off of pickles and beer in a winnebago

The plot was just rife with confusion, I couldn't figure out what was causing the destruction, at first it the Sun then its the Chinese and along the way they just lose you. And then when the main group is escaping first there in L.A. then Vegas, Paris, Hawaii and finally China. Just no...

Do not waste time or money renting this movie, if your desperate get it from the library, it's just a bug budget shit fest that could have been an hour shorter and still been more effective.

2012 recieves 4.5 "Pickles"...out of 10

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)

Seeing trailers a few months back this movie did not interest me at all. I was very skeptical about it as well for 2 reason. It was clearly made just to capitalize on the vampire craze that this nation seems to be in right now, and John C. Reilly, this really didn't seem to be the role for him.

I did not read the books so I didn't know anything about the plot and I thought it was going to be every vampire cliche wrapped into one. This one actually changed it up and make fun of the Hollywood depiction of vampires. For the most part I was suprised It was not as bad as I was anticipating. And it had some rather fun moments.

I seem to be a sucker for traveling circus or freak type films. It really reminded of a combination of 1932's Freaks and 1988's The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and mix it with some vampires and then you have this. I would have like to have seen a bigger role from the side characters, but hey you see a movie for the main characters, its understandable.

The movie take place during a truce between warring vampire factions. Darren (Chris Massoglia) and Steve (Josh Hutcherson) are best friends who go to see a freak show. Steve who has an obsession with vampires spots Crepsley (John C. Reilly) as a vampire from one of his books. Crepsley does an act with a large spider and Darren, who has an obsession with spiders, steals it from Crepsley. It bites Steve and the only way for Darren to save his life is to give into
the demands of Crepsley who turns him into a Half-Vampire. Things ensue both sides want Darren to fulfil some prophecy. Steve then turns into a vampire as well and hes a part of this prophecy too. I've already given away too much ill stop here.

I was suprised with because I really didn't expect much of it. Reilly, as much of a fan of his as I am, I dont think he was the right person for the role, but he did a good enough job. I'd say it worth the rent not exactly my cup of tea but I would like to see a sequel.
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Recieves 6.5 "Bearded Ladies"...out of 10.